Bob and Weave

Musings of an impostor. Welcome to the masquerade.

i’m back!

Posted by flyingbk on 03/03/2010

Well, it’s been a while. It’s time to start again.

I had trouble sleeping last night, and when that happens, I become all super-duper reflective about my life. It’s not a pleasant place to be. I muse about past regrets, youthful indiscretions, sins of omission and commission; often, I feel my heart contracting in shame about a certain incident or three (why did I say that? why did I act that way?). Then I snap out of it and realize that at least now I’m older,wiser, and more mature, and I’m learning from my mistakes (right??).

Sometimes, as was the case last night, I fire up my laptop and just begin browsing until I get tired. This time, I stumbled upon this piece by Will Leitch on Roger Ebert (warning: it’s a R-rated entry). Now, Deadspin is not a blog I regularly read anymore despite its humor and generally good writing about sports; I stopped because there’s a lot of let’s say, ‘carnal,’ content on that site that is not recommended for my spiritual well-being. But this entry was an excellent piece by Leitch, and I found Ebert’s encouragements to “Just write, get better, keep writing, keep getting better” to be very inspiring.

I was reminded that I need to remember who I am, along with the gifts and talents that God has given me. I start with my two main identities, that I am a child of God and a citizen of heaven; those two are always the case even if somehow I should lose all my abilities. Then I get to the next two, which remind me how I ought to be living each day. It originated from a church meeting one summer night in 2004 in Colorado Springs when I heard a prophet, while ministering to various people, utter, “I’m a worshiper, then an intercessor, then who cares?” That line has stuck with me ever since. I want the same to be said about me.

So there’s “worshiper,” “intercessor,” and yes, there’s more. I know that God has called me to be a preacher and writer. He put those desires in my heart, and he also gave me some talent to go with them.  But in order to grow in these two talents and identities, I need to practice. A lot. It’s pretty simple, actually. I need to read a lot, write a lot, and put more effort into my preaching. I need to watch TV less, and not waste time on things that don’t do me any good, or even worse, I don’t even care that much about them.

My flesh attacks me at this moment, and accuses me: “What’s the point of starting this again? It will probably go dead again when you hit another lazy streak, which is just around the corner!” That’s when I do the grisly work of crucifying my flesh, shutting up its lies and accusations in the process. It says here that the new plan is to try to write again here, about 1-2 times a week, and getting back to reading good books (not just fantasy baseball blogs and Georgetown basketball forums). It’s time to finish Grapes of Wrath (which I’ve taken out from the library for over 6 months now), and pounce upon books that have been on standby for ages.

I also have been given an opportunity to write for The Steeno Report, which has been started by my covenant friend, Brent Steeno. It’s a website that seeks to help the Christian understand and pray for what’s going on in the world. Here’s the one entry I have posted, on Tim Tebow. As with my blog, I hope to contribute 1-2 entries each week for that website as well.

‘Nuff said. Let’s do this.

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One Response to “i’m back!”

  1. Paul said

    bob. keep blogging. don’t stop. that’s all =)

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